Biografiearbeit und Selbstreflexion gehören zusammen: Biografiearbeit unterstützt Kinder mit Adoptionserfahrung beim Verstehen ihrer Geschichte, Selbstreflexion hilft Eltern, eigene Gefühle und Erwartungen achtsam zu sortieren. So entsteht eine verlässliche, wertschätzende Gesprächsbasis, auf der ein ressourcenorientierter und altersangemessener Prozess wachsen kann.

Why is this important?

Biography working with children who have experienced adoption can help foster a sense of normality from an early stage, strengthen self-confidence and support healthy identity development. This approach is particularly effective when parents prepare carefully and consciously consider their child’s perspective.

Seeing Countries of Origin from a Different Perspective

This includes understanding the social and legal framework in the countries of origin. Depending on the country or region, social security systems and residence rights can differ considerably, and living circumstances can be shaped by migration and precarious conditions. Decisions surrounding birth, care and adoption often arise in complex situations. When birth parents consider adoption, it is often out of a sense of responsibility and a desire to provide the child with reliable care.

Early Support Appropriate to the Child’s Age

Children usually realise by the age of three or four that adoption is not a common life path. They are often asked about their origins and generally understand that babies grow in their mother’s womb. Proactive, age-appropriate support is helpful. A life book, whether purchased or created by the family, can be started together and added to regularly. Between the ages of three and six, children should be able to understand the broad outlines of their early life, even if they cannot consciously remember it. This enables them to respond calmly and without shame to questions about their origins. Many children find it empowering to carry two family stories and potentially two cultural connections within them.

The Parents’ Attitude

Empathy, calmness and reliability are all essential qualities. The life book can include any known information about the child’s birth family, including photos if available. It may also document the birth parents' decision-making process, including the timeframe and any deadlines, as well as their reasons — often a decision made in the child's best interests. The family’s waiting period, their journey to the country of origin and their feelings about it can also be included. Transparency about the organisational efforts and expenses involved, such as travel, counselling, translations, and legalisations, is helpful, as is conveying the clear message that children are not bought.

Challenges and Ways of Coping

Procedures, languages and encounters can be especially challenging in intercountry adoptions. Some parents may find this phase emotionally demanding. It can be helpful if the country of origin feels familiar and visits are possible. Return visits to places of origin or to former attachment figures can help children to make sense of the different parts of their story. Central to this is the idea that releasing a child for adoption can be an expression of care when parents are unable to provide the necessary stability. This attitude can help children to embrace their biography with respect, security and pride.